Kiss
by HeartOfDarkess
Summary: Ever wondered what Edward was thinking when he and Bella kissed for the first time? M Rated version of their kissing scene, including dialogue from the book, but that's where the similarities end. My contribution to the SU4K compilation. ExB.


**Kiss by HeartofDarkess**

**Rated: M**

******Banner by: Christag Banners**

**Warnings: Suggestions of Slash.  
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**Beta: HollettLA  
**

**Summary: Ever wondered what Edward was thinking when he and Bella kissed for the first time? M Rated version of their kissing scene, including dialogue from the book, but that's where the similarities end.**

**Dedication: Dedicated to Katalina and my father, John.**

**Katalina's prompt was to show an M rated version of Edward's thoughts as they kissed, and this is what my crazy head came up with. Thank you to all who donated for this compilation, and thank you to Katalina. Your friendship, support, positivity, and inner strength is beyond compare. Heart you hard!**

**Over $12,000 was raised for the cause. Thank you to the 650 contributors who generously donated their hard-earned cash, and to the 106 authors several banner makers and wonderful betas. Thank you to BornonHalloween who gave so much of her time to pull this together. Her dedication, time, and positive attitude was just so admirable. And to ysar who put the blog together, and Soph Drea, Robin-Just-Robin, Ladyeire, Jules Twifanwesomesox, and Shell Shock for their work screening all the stories. You all helped make this a resounding success. Thank you for inviting me to be a part of it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

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EPOV

I could not believe the chain of events that had led me here. Each occurrence seemed to be interwoven into an intricate, definitive pattern of fate…a fate that even if I chose to fight against, I could never resist. Not that I wanted to. I had, in these past weeks, been granted my every wish and desire, and though I felt undeserving of everything I had been blessed with thus far, I was still touched by each and every miracle. And now, I knew one thing with certainty. I was in love with Bella Swan, and by all indications, she returned that love, even after I had bared my every imperfection to her entirely, turning my mere existence into a life that now had infinite potential. And so, for the first time in over a century, I felt afraid. Afraid of what I now stood to lose; and for the feelings this little human had brought out in me…feelings that were nothing short of astounding.

We had just visited the meadow…the one place I felt I could be myself without the encumbrances that came along with living as a functioning member of the Cullen Clan…the one little piece of this godforsaken planet where I was able to express myself without fear of being judged. Though Alice, for the most part, knew of my…shall we say…wanton desires through her predictions, she kept them to herself. Knowing that I knew far more about her bedroom activities with Jasper than the rest of the family, we had an unspoken bargain to keep the knowledge of one another's sexual proclivities just between the two of us.

I knew it was irrational to be envious of what Alice and Jasper, and in fact what the rest of my family had, but I just could not help it.

It was all right for _them._

_They _were already mated and could not understand what it was like to be truly alone in this world.

_They _were not relegated to hiding deep within the forest and bringing themselves to completion…alone, right hand and wayward fantasies their only companion. As my shaft began to twitch in response to thoughts of being with Bella in such a way, I wondered what it would feel like to not only kiss her, but to feel those same lips pressed against other parts of my body.

_All in good time._

We were spending the day together, alone, and I had managed to touch her for the first time without sinking my teeth into her throat, which was a fine beginning, even though drinking her wasn't exactly the only difficulty I'd been experiencing.

But, I could not complain. It was pleasing to know that Alice had seen nothing that would hinder a physical relationship from finally developing between Bella and me. In the meantime, what was the harm of perhaps showing off a little, while at the same time feeling a whole lot more of her heat against my cold, unyielding skin?

"Come on little coward, climb on my back," I suggested, knowing we needed to head back, but at the same time feeling disappointed that our day together was nearly over. Barely suppressing the lascivious smile that threatened to form on my lips as the thought of her body pressed against mine took hold, Bella hesitated, no doubt wondering what would possess me to want to feel so much of her surround me when we had barely touched one another prior to this moment. But after her easy acceptance of my freakish looking skin and penchant for drinking blood, as well as Alice giving our day together the go-ahead, I felt certain it was safe to move things along.

I smiled reassuringly at her in an attempt to allay her obvious anxiety, reaching for her and pulling her into my arms in the blink of an eye. Though I suspected her uncertainty was born by a fear of the unknown rather than feelings of lust, I wanted more than anything to take the next step…to feel her close…and for her to experience absolutely _everything_ I had to offer.

As I dexterously lifted Bella onto my back and I felt her arms and legs wrap around my torso, I'd never felt more alive. Not only did her every muscle, every bone, and every pulse point feel as though it was sinking deep within me, the sensation of her tight, virginal heat as it pressed against the small of my back felt nothing short of sublime.

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," she warned, interrupting my thoughts.

"Huh!" I snorted, rolling my eyes. Her warm, soft little body clung tighter in response, that action alone threatening to unravel me on the spot. It did not stop me, however, from taking her hand in mine and bringing the flat of her palm to my nose, inhaling deeply as I imagined that same, sweet-smelling hand stroking me until I erupted.

"Easier all the time," I muttered. Well, at least the scent of Bella's blood was getting easier to withstand. Resisting other, more insistent and far more interesting urges were clearly going to be more of a challenge, but I was determined to meet all of them head-on.

Of course, everyone but Alice has always assumed it had been Bella's blood that I found impossible to resist. It was true that her blood was thoroughly tempting, but what really drew me to her was the smell of her arousal that filled the air the day we met in biology class. That heady aroma, when combined with her own unique perfume, was what threatened to turn me into a rabid animal the moment I first laid eyes on her. The combined smell of Bella…of sex and freesia was so out of this world, so thoroughly mouthwatering, that I feared I had been thrown headlong into my very own version of hell.

It took every bit of willpower on my part to resist snapping the necks of every child in that class before laying her on the table and mounting her before draining her dry…

Groaning quietly as those particular memories threatened to render me undone, I turned and began to run in an attempt to push away the feelings that began spreading through me like wildfire. But as the source of the most delectable fragrance I'd ever known rubbed up and down my back as I ran, I drove my legs faster in response. As the trees ghosted past and her heart raced and her breathing quickened, and she clung to me as if her life depended on it, I had a revelation. As much as I knew it was wrong, I wanted to take our physical relationship to the next level right this very moment. I knew that even though we had achieved so much already, and that Carlisle had warned me to take things slowly, I wanted to end this most auspicious day with something binding that would leave no doubt in her mind or mine one truth.

That we were mates.

Two beings destined to be together.

About halfway through our journey, however, I realized we had company. I let out a frustrated growl as Alice's scent, strong and fresh, invaded my nostrils. Her unwelcome appearance tainting the smell I craved more than anything, I kept running, not wanting Alice to interfere with this day any more than she already had. Her predictions, accurate as they'd been, garnered me no privacy whatsoever, and for what I had planned, I needed at least the _illusion _of possessing it in abundance. My dear sister, on the other hand, had other ideas. I spotted Alice streaking through the forest north of where I was running, and I pushed on, trying but failing to ignore her presence, my sudden decision to touch my mate so intimately making me fearful of what Alice might have already seen.

_Wait, Edward! You've just got to see this!_

Ignoring my low, warning growl, she instead showed me her vision, and what I saw nearly caused me to trip over a fallen tree trunk in a most un-vampire-like manner. I somehow managed to carry on regardless, even though I was unable to fathom what I was seeing. Not only was I kissing Bella, but I was slowly unzipping and pushing my hand inside the thick material of her jeans and touching her warmth for the very first time.

_Yes!_

As Alice disappeared and the vision faded, a strong sense of hope soon followed, the very thought of a brighter future causing me to smile.

No longer would I be required to relegate myself to the forest to relieve my burgeoning desires.

No longer would I be the laughing stock of my coven.

Oh no…instead…I was going to take what was rightfully _mine!_

Within a matter of moments, we'd arrived at the place where not only Bella's truck was parked, but where, according to Alice's vision, the magic was set to occur. Slowing to a fast walk, I finally came to a complete stop near the thicket of ferns that ran along the edge of the path.

"Exhilarating isn't it?" I asked, excited beyond words by Alice's vision, my shallow, panting breaths having nothing to do with exertion from running. I waited for Bella to disentangle herself from my body, but to my surprise, she did not move a muscle.

"Bella?" I asked, confused, my smile fading quickly. Though I scented her arousal, I immediately sensed something was wrong…her uneven breathing and racing heart along with her tightened muscles attesting to that fact.

"I think I need to lie down," she gasped.

_That'd be fine by me! _

"Oh, sorry," I apologized, mentally berating myself for my lack of sensitivity.

"I think I need help," she added in a weak voice.

I laughed nervously as I gently loosened her hold around my neck, and in one swift movement, I pulled her off my back before cradling her in my arms. It was then, as I noticed that all the color had drained from her face, I realized that I had more pressing matters to attend to other than my own selfish desires.

As I carefully placed her down on the soft cushion of the ferns beneath, I asked, "How do you feel?"

"Dizzy, I think," she replied, her eyes barely open.

"Put your head between your knees," I suggested.

_Or perhaps I could do that for you?_

I was, indeed, thoroughly depraved.

Bella complied and I watched her carefully as she inhaled and exhaled deeply, and within a heartbeat, I was sitting next to her amongst the ferns, watching her carefully. After a few moments, Bella slowly brought her head up, but I was concerned that her face still remained so pallid.

"I guess that wasn't the best idea," I mused, frustrated.

"No, that was very interesting," she responded, her voice weak.

I studied her carefully and in an attempt to try and lighten the mood, I exclaimed, "Huh! You're as white as a ghost." Then, I corrected myself with a chuckle. "No – you're as white as _me_!"

"I think I should have closed my eyes," she said as her eyes closed in response to her statement. Of course Bella's human eyes were in no way able to deal with the speed of my travels. Add that to the fact that she had dubious balance, her inner ear obviously less than functional, and you have a severe case of motion sickness.

"Remember that next time," I suggested, moving in closer still.

"Next time?" she groaned. I could not help but laugh heartily in response to her childish complaint, because one thing I knew was that I wanted to feel her body against mine as often as was humanly possible.

"Show off," she muttered. She was, indeed, correct. I had been prancing around like a proud peacock for much of the day, apparently impressing rather than repulsing Bella with my own unique version of "show and tell". Of course, I could not wait to show her even more...

As the moments passed, I continued to watch her closely until everything finally returned to normal. It was then my thoughts digressed to where they were prior to her bout of motion sickness.

"Open your eyes, Bella," I whispered seductively, running my tongue over my lips, my desire to taste her urgent, my mouth mere inches from hers. She opened her eyes and they widened in response to my sudden and unexpected closeness, which prompted me to let her know what was on my mind.

"I was thinking while I was running..." I said, pausing, unable to think of a way to tell her my deepest desires without frightening her away, or admitting the fact that Alice had seen what was to occur between us.

"About not hitting the trees, I hope." There she was, surprising me once more.

_So sweet…so innocent…_

"Silly Bella," I responded, chuckling. "Running is second nature to me; it's not something I have to think about."

"Show off," she repeated. I smiled, realizing that though it was true, if it were not for my ego and strong sense of bravado, we would not have come as far as we already had. Desire and unbridled need once again filled me to the brim, and I could no longer resist letting Bella know exactly what my intentions were.

"No. I was thinking that I wanted to try something."

I took her face in my hands gently, and as I did so, Bella's heart skipped a beat, and at the same time she held her breath. I hesitated for a moment, evaluating her response one last time before proceeding, the fear of rejection suddenly making itself known. But, I need not have worried. I only had to look into the depths of her eyes, her pupils dilating to the point of becoming black, that I knew without doubt she wanted this just as much as I.

I continued to move closer, turning my body toward her, her arousal hanging heavily in the air, and I could not help but breathe her in deeply, unable to ever get my fill.

The seconds passed until our lips finally met…and they were giving, soft, and wet, and unlike anything I had ever felt in my one hundred years! Every fantasy, thought and curious question could not compare to actually _feeling_ her soft, plump lips press against mine.

_Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!_

My shaft swelled in response, and before I could muster any further thought whatsoever, Bella did something so unexpected, so shocking, that it took all my will and strength to stop myself from tearing her clothes off and making her mine.

Exhaling heavily, her breath rushed out of her lungs and entered my mouth, while the tip of her tongue swept gently across my bottom lip. I was enraptured, my self-control eroding fast, her heat incredible as her breasts mashed against my unforgiving body. Seemingly emboldened by my lack of ability to pull away, her movements became far more urgent as she ran her hands through my hair, clutching and pulling my locks with all her might as her lips moved frantically against mine. But when her lips parted, and she sighed, inviting me to explore her as her bouquet filled the air around us, I just about exploded.

_Someone's on their way, so you'd better wrap this up, Edward._

It was then that Alice showed another vision…one of a dark-haired, dark-skinned hiker crossing our path and moving closer when he caught sight of me tugging down my pants before grabbing hold of my length. Watching as I stroked myself and my Bella at the same time, he stood there and leered at us for several long moments before pulling out his member and pleasuring himself by his own hand.

Unable to make myself stop kissing Bella just because someone would be watching us, I decided it didn't matter. After all, I'd masturbated in this forest many times, and on more than one occasion I'd attracted one or two female hikers who had decided to watch, their thoughts as to what they were witnessing telling me in no uncertain terms I was not alone.

Aside from that, I had over one hundred years' worth of pent-up sexual frustration that required release, so I knew I wasn't thinking all that rationally.

But once the vision progressed, the stranger's thoughts not of Bella, but of fantasizing about thrusting his cock into my exposed ass, I was brought back to earth with a resounding thud, and it was then I froze.

Froze!

_What the hell?_

_Edward, you need to stop what you're doing…right now! _Alice warned.

Once realizing the young man's intentions, and witnessing the vision of me leaping to my feet and throwing him against a tree, killing him instantly, I managed to release our kiss. Of course I immediately mourned the loss of Bella's lips on mine, but also knew I needed to change the path I was now on before Alice's prediction became the most awful of truths. Bella opened her eyes in response, gazing at me, her eyes filled with nothing but desire.

"Oops," she gasped, her breathing still uneven and her lips swollen and pink, thanks to our most recent activities.

"That's an understatement," I replied as I held her face in my hands, her tempting lips and delicious skin still inches away, the hunger to take her continuing to burn me from the inside out.

"Should I...?" she questioned selflessly as she tried to remove herself from my embrace, apparently sensing my inner battle.

"No, it's tolerable," I responded, the faint scent of a human along with the young man's jumbled and lewd thoughts prompting me to tighten my grasp and effectively keep us concealed. "Wait for a moment please," I added as I watched and waited, the ferns serving well to camouflage us both as the man in Alice's vision wandered several hundred feet away and continued up the path, Bella thankfully not noticing his presence. As several moments passed and my lust began to ebb away, left in its place was a warm, floating feeling. A feeling of release, of contentment and of...victory!

Releasing my grasp, I smiled at Bella and said, "There."

"Tolerable?" Bella asked. She was more than tolerable. She was totally and completely desirable, and I thanked the gods that Alice was there to cover my ass, both in the literal and figurative sense.

I laughed in response and announced proudly, "I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know."

_Yep, nothing like the threat of being penetrated anally to bring one back to reality!_

"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry," Bella replied apologetically.

"You _are_ only human after all," I responded with humor in my voice.

"Thanks so much," she shot back sarcastically as I stood, taking her hand into mine and pulling her onto her unsteady feet, thankful that my erection had somewhat deflated thanks to my sister's most recent, and quite disturbing vision.

"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" I asked with a broad grin.

"I can't be sure. I'm still woozy," she replied, her eyes still filled with lust. "I think it's some of both, though."

_I'm the man!_

I needed to get her home, and fast, if I wanted to take things further, so for the next few moments we argued about who would be driving her truck back to town. As Bella stubbornly headed toward the driver's side, I looped my arms around her to halt her movements. Ah, I was holding my love once again and picking her up and throwing her on the hood seemed like a fine idea, but for hearing Alice's warning thoughts.

_Seriously, Edward? On the hood of her truck? Just get the poor girl home already before that hiker comes back!_

I looked into Bella's eyes as I embraced her, while mentally rolling my eyes at Alice and clenching at the same time. "Bella. I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive."

_And my ass virginal!_

"I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk," I quoted, chuckling, as Bella drew in a deep breath. If I did not know better I would say that she was scenting me, and I shivered at the very thought.

"Drunk?" she objected.

"You're intoxicated by my presence," I stated, smirking evilly.

"I can't argue with that," she admitted. Taking the keys out of her pocket before dropping them in my hand, she added pointedly, "Take it easy. My truck's a senior citizen."

"Very sensible," I assured her as I stared into the depths of those soulful eyes, wishing that her truck was capable of traveling at warp speed so I could get her home, tucked in bed, and have her all to myself again as quickly as possible.

"And you are not affected at all by my presence?" she queried.

_Was she bereft of all her faculties?_

Without a word, I bent down, brushing my lips against her jaw before moving my mouth to her ear and back, smiling as she trembled in my arms.

"Regardless, I have better reflexes," I whispered against her delicate, pale, and wonderfully delicious skin, inhaling deeply, once again filling my lungs with her unique aroma.

It was in that moment that I heard Alice's laughter echo through the forest, accompanied by one final thought and vision.

_Remember, dear brother, like Carlisle said, you've got to walk before you can run…_

I gasped at the scene unfolding in my mind's eye. I was in Bella's room, and as I watched her sleeping, she threw off her bedcovers and began to moan, while at the same time her fingers reached down and began to play with her clitoris through the fine material of her soaking wet panties. And as she continued to bring herself pleasure, her eyes fluttering and rolling underneath closed lids, I stroked my hard and leaking shaft until I released all over my bare, heaving chest.

And as Alice's laughter faded in the distance, I grinned, knowing that though fate was telling me to proceed much slower than I'd originally planned, tonight, things were still going to get very interesting indeed…

**A/N: Had to end it in that way, as I still wanted to stick to canon as much as possible. Hope you enjoyed! **

**Thank you so much for your wonderful beta'ing, support, and words of advice, HollettLA! You rock, my dear!**


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